Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Research and Progress

The past two entries here have been a bit aloof, I know, but there is so much to recall and, at times, I forget some of the details others might have kept closely guarded. Whatever the case, I suppose in the writing of this journal, it does me little good to keep my name hidden....I'm Jarod Cross. Since my title hasn't been established, at least not as of this post, I think it best to keep my status to myself. Suffice it to say that the city of Onyx is now in the business of research and development. Why? Now THAT, is the question of the day and one I don't delve into all at once.

They keep telling me not to clam up and to just get everything out on paper, so to speak, and as I do, new things will creep into the narrative and unbury important information we can eventually use. Here's hoping. I've been swimming in the paperwork of this monster tribe for almost a year and it's still as tough to believe that the cult lasted this long, even if underground.

Someday, I'll have to do a paper on the cult and their role in the history of this island, but for now, I should simply stick to what I know in short. Over 500 years ago, this nation was split in two by civil and religious disputes. The patriarch of the nation was driven to separate the island in half after being routed by his sons, who then founded a brand new empire. The king dabbled in dark and arcane arts and all sorts of "magical" things, things that demanded a level of cruelty be carried out in his lands, which didn't sit well with his sons.....so they left and, in the pursuit, a clan of religious zealots called "The King's Throne" were dispatched and eventually defeated by the brothers, but apparently not all members of this sect were dealt the death blow, else I'd have some other kind of occupational pursuits, if you'll take my meaning. In any case, there's still a great deal we can't answer from the final war, most of which will only come out if we ever get our hands on one of the Throne's members, however many there might be.

In spite of the things I DO know about the Throne, I've decided that all parts of my REFUGE project, including Ocelot, will move forward. In addition, I think it best to tell my best friend Jim about this....with all the rage and impatience bubbling to the surface, I need someone to help keep me grounded. Normally, I'd consider Abigail, but after last night's little scuffle with her ex, I think she might be the last person who would want to hear about my little insurance policy....especially when she finds out what it will demand from me. Maybe one day I'll tell her, but for now, I just need to give her some space.


Saturday, March 14, 2015

WHY?!

I'm sorry for the last post....sometimes this whole damned thing just seems so pointless and cruel. The shrink said I should just let the emotions happen and put it all down on paper. Apparently, it "helps the healing process along" or some other such BS, but I figure if Alden says it works, I may as well give this a try. Now I know what you're thinking, I'll probably end up one of them blasted Bible thumping rights without a dime because they gave it all to the crooked preacher man down the road, but it's not like that. Jim may not be that extreme, but he is the real deal, right or wrong.

Conversational english in a journal like this might just be a nice look for me. But where was I? Ahh yes....Jake. The tape they sent us was cruel. How people watch movies where this kind of stuff happens, that's just beyond me. So what have I been doing? Looking for an angle. Ocelot is still isn't finished, but now I'm, shall I say, motivated to find Jake and see for myself what we're in for. Pryme got away and so did his flunky "artisan", but there aren't many places deep enough to hide.

In circles I follow, I always find that secrets are best kept in the open, that's why I call my projects something here and something else at the office.....keeps my work safe. It also helps to have an ace in the hole, hence the overtime. Someday, I'll write down what this thing actually does and is, but right now, things with the higher-ups have asked me to keep quiet, even from myself, can you believe that? Boy, are there some paranoid people.

About a week ago, I wrestled with the interface, but everything- *sigh* I said I wouldn't do that, but I almost spoiled the surprise. So what CAN I talk about? Abigail....I san start there, maybe. Truth be told, she's the only bright spot in my life aside from my work. I miss her, which kinda sounds strange, considering she just left about an hour ago, but she's amazing and she can't even see it, which, I must admit, I find kinda sweet. At least she's started allowing me to compliment her....that's a start. That wasn't always the case.

If I could book her line up of ex boyfriends, I'd pick up personally and take a piece out of 'em all, or maybe see what the Throne could do to people who DO deserve that kind of treatment instead of heroes. At least she came to the conclusion after asking her out nearly a dozen times that resistence is futile....gotta love the Borg philosophy to dating. Is 12 dozen roses a bit over the top? The bill might have been almost half of my check for the pay period including delivery, but her face was priceless, or at least that's what my binoculars told me. What can I say? She inspires me to be something better; to make her life more simple, not more complicated. Complicated sucks....and you can quote me on that.

The gala is this coming weekend, so at least I'll have some thing write about....provided she accepts the invite. Seemed fitting for a first date.

Friday, March 6, 2015

From the Beginning....

So....where to begin...Jake? No, Abigail. Maybe Forest?

*sigh* This thing, this nightmare went into overdrive only a couple of years ago. I hid the plans for Ocelot carefully and now it's all gone sideways. Maybe if I had closed the ranks in the raid, Jake might not have--

I can't think like this, it doesn't do any good to ANYONE if I think like this. Okay....from the top....

Just this week, I recovered a piece of information I couldn't wrap my head around. A hard drive, all but fried after the raid I led on what was SUPPOSED to house an archive. In the most simple terms I can relate, this archive, from what my sources and research could gather, contained a history of an ancient cult that had gone underground nearly 500 years ago in the aftermath of a war that split this nation into two separate provinces. It didn't. It held something I still can't shake.

I'm a professional. I am. I'm supposed to be able to see almost anything and plan out the next move without emotion clouding my judgment, but this was different. This was personal. I've been told to keep this journal to just let things out as they come to me....getting started has been the hardest part in all this.

Jake was my partner. We had each other's backs, we were brothers in this fight....and they took it from him....from me. What kind of psychopath would film his undoing? They took him apart. He begged and pleaded, but they didn't care. They took everything from him and laughed as they did it, leaving only a shell, a vessel. THEY DIDN'T CARE! For HOURS, they cut and prodded and hacked and replaced him with something else. They called his tormentor "Eclipse" or "the artisan", but he was a sadistic, masochistic, evil, unfeeling monster. I can't do this anymore....